Home > entertainment, games, ps3, rant, Tech, video games, wii, xbox 360 > Are You Embarrassed by Your Video Games?

Are You Embarrassed by Your Video Games?

I have a long and inglorious gaming history. My Twitter profile states I am an “Avid (but useless) gamer”, which is pretty accurate.

Online games are pretty easy places for an old fart like me to get embarrassed, but I was pretty bad back in the days of my first multiplayer experiences – Hexen on the corporate LAN after hours. I did better playing the original Worms multiplayer, which is still one of the most fun online games ever.

Fast-forward a few years and Battlefield 1942 was the next online lowlight for me. Perhaps using a tag of ‘fragbait_newboy’ was asking for it. I spawned so often in that game I considered changing my tag to frogboy!

I’d like to think my online inabilities are due to age and declining reactions, so perhaps Microsoft need to take pity on folks like myself. Forget “Live”, let’s petition them to create a service just for us old folk, so we don’t have to put up with all those young kids with lightning fast thumbs.

Walrus
Walrus

Interactive gaming has perhaps the greatest potential for embarrassment, though. We have a Wii Fit Balance Board, which appraises your levels and makes your on-screen avatar, or Mii, look how it thinks you are. Wii Fit told me I was fat, and morphed my Wii into something resembling a Walrus.

Nintendo also has a vitality sensor now, designed to monitor you during physical activity. Some games can now use the sensor to detect your ‘fear’ level and back off on the scares. So not only does it insult you physically, the Wii is now capable of questioning your manhood!

We are now approaching a new era in embarrassing possibilities, though, with the advent of Project Natal from Microsoft. A recent demo of Natal was impressive mostly for the fact that the motion sensing system detected the gamer as female!!! How the hell does it do that? More importantly, will it detect my man-boobs and perform gender reassignment!

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  1. April 17, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    I used to think I was good at games but realised this is *directly* proportional to the amount of time spent on them. OK, it’s obvious but I just used to think I was good! I can still be pretty awesome from time to time but I’ve realised that 2 days off from the game reverts me to “what are the controls again?”.

    Moving back onto topic, games that belittle you for being crap seem to be commonplace. The awesome-ness of God Of War 3 is slightly tempered by it asking, after a few deaths, if you would not like to lower the difficulty level. I wonder how many people actually do this as I’m pretty sure most people shout “NO! I do NOT want to admit I am shite!”

    • April 17, 2010 at 6:02 pm

      Yeah, that vitality sensor thing is weird too. What if you like a good scare, or it’s just hot 🙂 Can’t believe it auto-dials down the difficulty based on its bio-feedback.

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